Individual or group psychotherapy for adults, young adults, and adolescents

It is sometimes difficult to find or make meaning in a world that is confusing and frustrating. Sorting out what you can control and what is beyond your control is an important step. It is challenging to understand that we are constantly making choices about our lives in this complicated world. Taking responsibility for those choices and their consequences, and creating value and meaning for ourselves is empowerment at its best. It’s also the heart of Lemon-Aid Counseling.

Exploring and becoming your best self is a challenge for both adolescents and adults. And the journey through young adulthood can be very difficult, as those in their 20s or early 30s seek to find their own way. Some people still think getting help with personal issues is a sign of weakness. Yet most would not hesitate to seek help for a broken bone or for heart disease. Think of the rest of your life as you think of your body -- a broken heart or spirit might heal on its own, but the results probably would be faster and better with some assistance.

In addition to "talk" therapy, I often work with people who have difficulty with verbal communication. Because of my specialized education training, I am expert in learning styles and Multiple Intelligences theory, and will tailor your therapy experience to match your strengths and preferences. Art, music, visualization, movement, computers, writing, role playing, animal assistance (see photo with my special friend, Fletcher) or other modes of expression may be utilized if they will help you improve the quality of your life and relationships.

• Birth of a child
• Puberty (including rites of passage celebrations)
• Graduation and leaving home
• Marriage or living with someone
• Divorce or separation
• Death of a friend or loved one
• Job loss or job change
• Loss of a pet
• New limitations from illness or physical disability

Coaching can be in person or by phone.

Couples Counseling / Marriage Counseling / Couples Therapy / Marital Therapy

Whether married or not, straight or gay, young or less-young, all couples have differences that can lead to tension, hurt, anger, loneliness, disappointment, or emotional distance. Don’t wait until your problems become insurmountable and your relationship falls apart – get help soon and see if you can regain whatever magical attraction and interest drew you together in the first place. We’ll work together to identify your difficulties more clearly, communicate more effectively, and either heal your relationship or make peace with a decision to part ways and move on to better ones for each of you.

I also offer a unique, flexible, optional scheduling approach to couples counseling:

• our appointment runs longer than a traditional 50-minute session
• we end either at a pre-set time, or whenever we agree is a good point to stop for that session, whether it is 2 hours or even longer
• we get more done over a shorter period of time – counseling issues may be resolved in 1-3 months, instead of a year or more
• you have the choice of paying for each session or charging fees to your credit card, which allows you more time to cover the higher initial outlay

What if one of you wants counseling but the other doesn't? Then come by yourself ... you may be surprised at how much one person can change -- and improve -- the relationship.

Premarital Counseling

Today’s clergy and wedding officiants recommend and often require premarital counseling. As someone who has worked with many marriages in trouble, I heartily agree. The stars in the eyes of couples about to marry often cloud their perception of reality, and sometimes cause them to overlook or ignore critical matters that can make or break the relationship. The benefits of premarital counseling far exceed the time, effort, and cost. You will have the opportunity that couples in love might neglect in their blissful trip to the altar:

• to confirm and validate the positive reasons for this marriage
• to explore differences in your backgrounds that can enhance your partnership
• to anticipate and avoid difficulties and arguments that can arise from your differences
• to discuss those essential but difficult (or possibly even “taboo”) topics, such as the roles of each partner, expectations, finances, sexuality, religion, conflict styles and management, childrearing, in-laws, blended or step-families, etc.
• to raise any concerns either partner has about the future, with a supportive facilitator as coach and assistant

I offer a premarital counseling package at a cost considerably below my usual fee. It includes three 2-hour counseling sessions (total of 6 hrs) for $585, which is less than $100/hr. This is the amount of time often required by clergy for premarital counseling. A longer amount of time might be needed if there are any issues already popping up that need to be resolved, or if there are previous marriages or children to take into account. It is possible that insurance will reimburse you for a portion of the cost, depending on the issues raised.

Telephone counseling

For some people, getting into a counseling office is difficult for one reason or another. While face-to-face counseling is a much better process, I can also provide assistance by phone. To discuss this option, contact me and we will consider whether it will work for your situation.

Types of issues commonly addressed in therapy

• Depression, anxiety and other emotional distress
  • Everybody gets the blues sometimes.
  • Most people occasionally feel anxious or nervous.
  • But if you just can't shake those feelings, or when they are interfering with your life, you need help.

Life is short and precious. With assistance, you can explore those painful feelings in a safe setting, work through unresolved issues that may be hiding beneath them, and tap your hidden resilience so you can move forward in your life.

• Stress management (including panic disorder and PTSD)
  • Stress is an uncomfortable but normal part of life.
  • Panic disorder is a high stress reaction.
  • Agoraphobia is panic at such intensity that people can become virtually confined to their homes.

Learning to manage stress is critical for physical as well as emotional health. Sometimes the source of your stress is in your family’s history, and other times it comes from your daily life. Understanding what it is and where it comes from (even perhaps before you had language to describe it) will begin to give you some power over it. You can learn to recognize triggers for your distress, and to calm yourself before things spin out of control. Together we can design some ways to reduce the intensity of your reactions and also to relieve the symptoms of stress caused by trauma (post-traumatic stress disorder).

• Life transitions
  • A transition has been called "the pause between trapezes."
  • This uncomfortable period can result from the death of a loved one, a divorce, a move to a new city, change of school or job, medical condition, or any other loss or change.
  • Even positive changes, like graduation, marriage or a new baby, are often stressful.

Sometimes it takes only a brief time to sort through the difficulty of change, reach your inner strength, and grow through and beyond the uncertainty of transitions. And sometimes you will discover other issues that are beneath the surface, making the current situation feel so stressful. If that’s the case, then it’s to your advantage to address them now, so they don’t continue to interfere with your happiness and peace. In addition to individual therapy for dealing with life transitions, I also conduct a support group program, Transition Seminars®, addressing a variety of issues such as job loss, divorce, remarriage, and other transitions.

• Medical psychotherapy: Living through, with and beyond illness
  
  If you have a medical problem or have been trying to conceive, you might also be experiencing emotional concerns: fear, anger, disappointment, guilt, depression, or other feelings are not unusual.
  • Medical conditions carry many burdens, both for the patient and other family members.
  • Beyond dealing with the physical and financial aspects of your condition, there are the emotional wounds and the strain on family and personal relationships.
  • Other than handing you a prescription, your medical doctor generally cannot do very much to address those feelings.
  • Family and friends may get to the point where they cannot handle any more of your emotional pain, and may have their own concerns that they do not feel they can impose upon an ailing person.
  • Couples experiencing fertility problems have layers of emotions that may impact their relationship and even their medical treatment.

Healing usually includes grieving, finding support while fighting the odds, and learning how to accept and move forward under changed circumstances. My own medical challenges have taught me much, and I can help you and your loved ones deal with your situation, as well. In addition to individual and family therapy for medical issues, I also conduct a support group program, Lemon-Aid®, for those who have a rare disorder or medical condition of any type (see Self-Help for examples of activities from a similar structured program).

• Addictive behaviors
  • Addictions often start out as an attempted solution to stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, or other issues.
  • But addictive behaviors (such as alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, or internet) then become problems bigger than the original ones.
  • Whether or not you have attended 12-Step meetings for your particular addiction, personal therapy will help you clear up the issues underlying the addiction.
  • Without addressing the source, you are likely to slip back, or substitute a different addictive behavior, in an effort to numb whatever is causing you pain.

I have a great respect and empathy for the person inside the addiction, and I know how difficult it is for you to kick your addiction. It is hard to give up a behavior that is helpful to you in some way, even if it is hurtful in others – so let’s figure out how it is helping, and find some better ways to accomplish that.

• Eating disorders (especially compulsive eating and yo-yo dieting)
  • Dieting actually makes people fat!
  • The more you diet, the more likely it is that you will spring back up to a higher weight than before you started.

My approach to weight management is founded on evidence that most people can learn to eat "normally" and improve their health, well-being, and weight without dieting. Imagine how it would be to love and accept your body and make peace with food. I know, hard to even imagine … yet possible. In addition to individual therapy related to weight issues, I also conduct a support group program, Never Diet Again® that includes a structured curriculum for a 12-week series (see a sample of activities in Self-Help).